inflammatory mediators that cause hypersecretion

This entry contains elaborate descriptions of poop and pooping.

On Wednesday one of the cows had the shits and a runny nose and the next day a few more did and then a few more the next until by Saturday I was convinced they were all going to die in an ebola like puddle of their own body fluids. After my anxious phone call vet came and said it was probably just winter dysentery and that it was highly unlikely that anyone was going to die. I talked to a few other more seasoned less panic prone farmers who said that their cows get this (perhaps not so severely) every winter and get over it in a week. The Merk Veterinary Manual will tell you all about it. It's basically super contagious diarrhea with cough thing that cows who have to stay in a barn for the winter are pretty likely to get.

After my fears were assuaged, the situation became amazingly comic in a way that I, (and my candy ass digestive tract) having spent some time living in south east Asia, could fully identify with. I had no idea an animal could project it's own fecal matter a distance that would be measured in yards without using their arms. If the cows coughed while they were shitting, they could hit cows on the other side of the barn. Normally cows will lift their tails before they go to the bathroom, but sometimes the need to poo seemed to come on too fast and the stream would hit the back of their tail and splatter in all directions. I tried to stay out of the way of most of it and being on my guard spared me from a few direct hits. The barn cats retreated out into the cold and snow rather than be forced witness (and perhaps clean themselves off from) the mayhem. I milked last night with a rain coat on. But when I got home and looked in the mirror while I was brushing my teeth, I immediately had to stop and wash my face. twice.